The 4th trimester

Last week my baby turned 4 months old! It’s so hard to believe that we have had her here on the outside to cuddle and play with for four whole months. We are SO grateful to make it to this milestone.

Chubby legs 😩

This past month I feel like Sloane all of a sudden grew up. She went from being overly clingy to being able to entertain herself (for at least a little while, she still LOVES being talked to). She found her voice and made it known by all of her yelling. Not that she’s mad, she just loves to hear herself talk. We often wake up to a short random burst of “ahhhh!” that comes from the pack-n-play in our bedroom.

All of this growing up she did overnight was very much welcomed. She has developed a big personality and serves us all the sweet smiles and giggles. She has become such an easy going, curious, good baby but it definitely wasn’t always that way.

No newborn is a breeze. At least I tell myself that for comfort. Alex went back to work as soon as we were home from the hospital so it was just me and the babe once all of our family left. His mom stayed with us for a few days and I remember dreading as we got up to the day she had to leave. Her presence made me feel better. We had a couple days alone to figure it out and then my parents came up the following weekend to visit. Obviously we were fine and it was nice to finally have our home to ourselves but also we were terrified and sleepy. We had such a traumatic delivery, a few extra days in the hospital, and then the chaos of visitors. This was the first time we even had a day to rest.

Our exhaustion selfie documenting our first solo, semi restful day. Time to parent.

We chose to breast feed so I was Sloane’s only source of food and comfort for the first six weeks. Up until then she refused to take a bottle. I absolutely LOVED getting to care for my tiny human and spend so much time with her but man, it was exhausting. I was very adamant about nursing on demand. If she was hungry I fed her. Those first few weeks of all the cluster feeding take a toll on your energy level for sure. Sloane was eating every hour and half day and night. Like most babies she had no idea of the difference between the two. For this reason the whole first month is an absolute sleep deprived blur.

This was two weeks in if I remember correctly. Getting out of bed was a hard task 😂

We finally got Sloane comfy with a bottle after a couple months which was great. However with bottle feeding came colic. And I thought the first few weeks were rough. We had just gotten settled with some sort of schedule and then everything changed. Ive notice that seems to be a trend. How fun!

Colic is hard. Absolutely heartbreaking, nerve racking, you name it. She was so uncomfortable and there was nothing that we could do. Girl cried all day every day. All night too. There were several nights at around 2am where her, myself, and alex were all just laying in the floor defeated. We got a brief break all to be back awake at 4am to do it all over again.

There’s the whole “sleep when baby sleeps” thing but what do you do when baby only sleeps in 20 minute intervals? Let me know when you find out. I saw a post on facebook recently that said “sleep when baby sleeps, fold laundry when baby folds laundry.” How relevant.

It’s hard to try and keep baby settled and comfortable all day and night long and still manage your own well-being too. It’s so important to take breaks for yourself, take it easy on yourself, and accept that some things just wont get done. It’s okay to leave dirty dishes on the counter, it’s okay to not get the laundry folded, it’s okay to slow school down and push graduation off one more semester. Once you realize that life gets easier.

All that to say, we made it! We survived! We have yet to fully master sleep but we’re getting there. She naps longer and we get a solid 6 hour stretch of sleep most nights. Thats huge! She smiles back at us now so there’s reward for all of our hard work. Her giggles are some form of motivation. Sloane has learned to love her standup activity center and trapeze play station. I can let her be for 30-40 minutes at a time without all the mom guilt because I know she’s content. She talks to herself in the mirror and we rarely have bad days.

Four months old is a breath of fresh air, a sigh of relief. I hardly remember the days before. So, if you’re in the phase of sleep deprivation and on the brink of insanity, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The first three months are all about survival and all of your hard work will be worth it! We definitely don’t have it all figured out over here but it’s nice to celebrate a small victory in the midst of all of this craziness. We are loving every difficult exhausting second of watching this baby girl grow and cant wait to see what the next few months bring.

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